Too Much Golf

Top Ten Signs You’re Golfing Too Much

• When you pick up something off the floor, you have to lean on your putter
  
• The only number on your speed dial is 1-800-TEETIME.
  
• You have your priorities in order: food, shelter, greens fees, job.
  
• You dream you go to prison but still get conjugal visits with your driver.
  
• You tell the lost motorist that the gas station is only a par 4 away on the left.
  
• You’d like to take off your glove but hey, why bother?
  
• Whenever you see a hole in the ground, you squat, squint and read the line.
  
• You’re vaguely aware of living with a woman, allegedly your wife
  
• You ask the shopper ahead in the checkout line if you can play through.
  
• Before you pick up the salt shaker, you mark its position with a dime.