Yesterday I was buying a 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at
>> Walmart,
>> for my dogs Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus.
>> I was about to check out when a woman behind me
>> asked if I had a dog. What did she think, that I had an
>> elephant?
>> Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that
>> no, I didn't
>> have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again,
>> although I
>> probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital
>> last time. On the
>> bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I
>> awakened in an intensive
>> care ward with tubes coming! out of every hole in my body
>> and IVs in both
>> arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and
>> that the way
>> that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets
>> and simply eat one
>> or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
>> nutritionally
>> complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention
>> here that
>> practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my
>> story by now.)
>>
>> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care
>> because the dog food
>> had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle
>> of the parking lot to lick my butt
>> and a car hit me.
>>
>> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
>> attack, he was
>> laughing so hard! WAL-MART won't let me shop there
>> anymore
>
>
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Wednesday update
6 days ago
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