Banned from Wal mart

>> This is why women should not take men( i.e me) shopping against their
> will.
>>
>> After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
> Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
> preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like
> most
> women - she loved to browse.
>>
>> Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local
> Wal-Mart:
>>
>> Dear Mrs. Samsel,
>>
>> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion
> in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
> both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed
> below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
>>
>> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's
> carts when they weren't looking.
>>
>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House-wares to go off at
5-minute
> intervals.
>>
>> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
> women's restroom.
>>
>> 4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
> 'Code 3 in House-wares. Get on it right away.'
>>
>> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's on
> layaway.
>>
>> 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.
>>
>> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
> shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from
> the bedding department.
>>
>> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying
> and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
>>
>>  9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as
a
> mirror while he picked his nose.
>>
>> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked
> the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>>
>> 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming
> the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
>>
>> 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
look' by
> using different sizes of funnels.
>>
>> 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through
> yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>>
>> 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
> assumed a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
AGAIN!'
>>
>>  And last, but not least...
>>
>> 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile,
> then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here!'
>>
>>  Sincerely,  Wal-Mart
>>
>>
>>
>
>