MAN RULES

> 1. Men are NOT mind readers.>> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.> We need it up, you need it down.> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.>> 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon> or the changing of the tides.> Let it be.>> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.>> 1. Crying is blackmail.>> 1. Ask for what you want.> Let us be clear on this one:> Subtle hints do not work!> Strong hints do not work!> Obvious hints do not work!> Just say it!>> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every >question.>> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. >That's what we do.> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.>> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.>> See a doctor.>> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.>> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't >Expect us to act like soap opera guys.>> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.> Don't ask us.>> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one ofthe >ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one>> 1. You can either ask us to do something> Or tell us how you want it done.> Not both.> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.>> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during>commercials>> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither dowe.>> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows de faultsettings.> Peach, for example, is a fruit, ! not A color. Pumpkin is also a>fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.>> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.> We do that.>> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act >like nothing's wrong.> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.>> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an >answer you don't want to hear.>> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is>fine... Really .>> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are >prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,> or golf.> 1. You have enough clothes.>> 1. You have too many shoes.>> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!>> 1. Thank you for reading this.> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;>>> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.