If Tiger Woods didn't already know he was in trouble last week, he had to realize it after fellow golfer and champion carouser John Daly offered his own tips for how Tiger should get his personal life back together.
As a friend of mine put it, "When John Daly starts giving you advice in that regard, watch out."
There was no getting around the Tiger story last week. I bet Thanksgiving is one holiday that he will not be looking forward to again, not in this lifetime. And I can't imagine he will be doing any cell phone promotions, at least not for text messaging.
Like everyone else in the country, my golfing buddies had varying views on Tiger's "transgressions," as he called them. But the really serious discussions centered on, naturally, the golf clubs.
Just what club should you use when attacking a Cadillac SUV?
I guessed Mrs. Woods would use a hybrid. These crossover clubs, a combination of an iron and a fairway wood, have a nice heft to them and, for someone as petite as she, would knock out a window just like cutting through the rough.
One buddy strongly disagreed. He said an iron, maybe a five, would be the logical choice. He said it would be heavier and more solid than a hybrid and would do the job the best.
I suppose it depends on what the woman had available to her at the time. Tiger claims not to use hybrids at all, not that anyone would ever doubt Tiger's word, on anything. It could have been a woman's hybrid, but come to think of it, I'm not sure that Mrs. Woods even plays golf. If not, she's wasting a powerful swing.
Mrs. Woods could give new meaning to the Golf Channel's "Big Break" series; and I'm sure a combination instructional video, "Tiger's Defensive Driving Drills and Elin's Grip It and Rip It Lessons," could be a runaway best-seller for Christmas.
I think my own newspaper missed a great opportunity last week. Bill Clinton was in town, but we didn't get to ask him what he thought of the whole Tiger Woods story.
And who better to seek out? After all, no one can forget that when he was President, Mr. Clinton became famous for -- playing golf! At least, that's what I have heard from unimpeachable sources.
