JEFF FOXWORTHY HAS IT FIGURED OUT

1.    You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
You may be a Muslim    2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.        You may be a Muslim    3. You have more wives than teeth.        You may be a Muslim    4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.        You may be a Muslim    5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.  
     You may be a Muslim    6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.      You may be a Muslim    7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.  
     You may be a Muslim    8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.        You may be a Muslim    9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.  
     You may be a Muslim    10. Your cousin is president of the United States .          You may be a Muslim